Is this year really so bad?

...or am I just dreaming? First my parents divorced, and my beloved son has been ill a lot. My computer broke, and my laptop is just utter rubbish. And now this...

I'm 22 years old, been fighting with my diabetes almost the entire life. I had a darling son, which doctors told to get rid off, since it will be malformed and most likely not live outside the womb (well, quite opposite happened!) - and now, the news arrived. I developed bad kidney condition while pregnant, which lead to pre-term delivery, due my own body breaking up. I couldn't take it anymore, I was dying (and felt like it.) and yet clinging on the small parts left of it, begging to be there for my son. And the news? The kidney condition itself vanished, but I'm now on the early stage of it (which will lead getting it back, and I am unsure will I get it to stay the same and not develope any further.) and I most likely will NOT get another child, since it would damage the already slightly damaged kidneys. And I feel SAD! No, I don't fear dying, it's natural - I'm more sad, that I might not be able to have another child. It hurts. But I guess that is, how it feels for everyone, who hears similar news, huh?

On the other news: My school decided as well, that reading to become a travel agent isn't in long run good deal. I need to be able to get employed easily, and not wait for the bluemoon and then re-study. I will be doing degree in Business now. So it's about 2 years more of studying.


Well, gotta run now. I have to go to work. Sorry of my stupid words, no one even wants to get them.