I will be going on hiatus, as I've been for a long with this blog :) Will be hopefully returning soon with new upgraded blog with other texts. I have new project going on.

I am in.... SHOE HELL

My wedding is coming up faster than a speed of lightning.

However I've faced two types of new problems - that make me feel like OH-MY-GOD-WHY-DO-I-EXIST.

First of all: The Dress. We know wedding dresses are lovely (-birthdaycake ultimate meringue ones) - and we all wants to look more or less like a princess. Well, I've had total of two official fittings (and few minors ones) - and the end result has been the same. "We have to alter the dress a lot to suit for your body type."

Oh wait, WHAT.

Yes. Indeed. Why? I explain why.
I am quite curvy (not by personal choice.) - and I'm blessed (or cursed) - with very very narrow waist and slim shoulders. However I have quite broad hips (I have latino bum, yay?) and I'm quite well-grown on the bust side. Well, that all is no problem - but I have.... SHORTER BACK than most of the women in country, and cursed long legs. I've been trying to work out though (though the problem is not the size - the problem is that my back is just so ARGHT!).

And then the shoes. Someone-please-shoot-me-now.

Here's the list of what I hate about this shoe dilemma

1. I don't know how to walk with heels
2. Even if I would, I could not walk with the heels
3. Due my toe problems (Mainly the fact, that them are mean) - it is not recommended that I walk with peep-toe shoes (this is btw recommended by my doctor as well)
4. Also the shoes cannot have a narrow head. (Also by doctor's recommendations.)
5. Due my current ankle issue (Which is BAD - I tell you) - I should not even concider high heels (I don't even want high heels)
6. I need shoes that hide my ankle support
7. My Feet are too small. I still buy my stuff on kiddy sides

So umm.... ARGHTHTTHTT

SHOES.
I.
SO.
HATE.
THEM.

Updates updates

So what's up? A lot - let me tell you that!

Mikael is growing up splendidly. Drank from his sippy cup on his own today <3.

I also started yesterday a blog for my kittycats (in finnish at the time though!).

We also having two kitties coming :) Finally my boys get to play with their full heart.

I have training at work/practical training starting next week and I have NO PLACE. Why? Well remember where I worked?

Yep. That place. My boss contacted me this morning and said my contract has been cut off. No reason given. I suspect it might be either because I'm ill, or that I was off because my son has been really ill. It cannot be that I sucked so bad? I was getting better and better each day, and I had pretty nice shifts. Maybe because the boss didn't like me?

Whatever the thing is, I am do not absolutely care now. The place had very ugh... air in there. Many people quit their job there because they had fights and god knows what. Some people couldn't get any work. Or was the reason, that I needed do the training? Even based on that - any reason given is lame.

I mean, don't you think I deserve some sort of explanation, other than? "I don't need to give you an explanation." like HUH! And no thanks for working or so. Just mere, bye - go away.

Sorta ate off my self esteem, but I heard the place in the end had a very bad reputation. And it most likely will have it until forever. I don't know. I'm simply just fed up on that.

Thankfully getting fired do not mean problems with income, and as soon as I'm again fully charged, I will start looking for a new job. I am not letting one "who-cares-I'm-never-around-good-for-nothing-empty-promise-giving" bloke put me down.

And anyway, I've been interested working in fair centre and pet stores more these days, than in some good ol' fastfood place.

Btw, I have tomorrow a horror movie night :) Expecting awesome day that is!

Is this year really so bad?

...or am I just dreaming? First my parents divorced, and my beloved son has been ill a lot. My computer broke, and my laptop is just utter rubbish. And now this...

I'm 22 years old, been fighting with my diabetes almost the entire life. I had a darling son, which doctors told to get rid off, since it will be malformed and most likely not live outside the womb (well, quite opposite happened!) - and now, the news arrived. I developed bad kidney condition while pregnant, which lead to pre-term delivery, due my own body breaking up. I couldn't take it anymore, I was dying (and felt like it.) and yet clinging on the small parts left of it, begging to be there for my son. And the news? The kidney condition itself vanished, but I'm now on the early stage of it (which will lead getting it back, and I am unsure will I get it to stay the same and not develope any further.) and I most likely will NOT get another child, since it would damage the already slightly damaged kidneys. And I feel SAD! No, I don't fear dying, it's natural - I'm more sad, that I might not be able to have another child. It hurts. But I guess that is, how it feels for everyone, who hears similar news, huh?

On the other news: My school decided as well, that reading to become a travel agent isn't in long run good deal. I need to be able to get employed easily, and not wait for the bluemoon and then re-study. I will be doing degree in Business now. So it's about 2 years more of studying.


Well, gotta run now. I have to go to work. Sorry of my stupid words, no one even wants to get them.

It has begun....

...the quest on making my own prop and costume for next years convention!

and where do we start? of course the prop!

Out of all, it seems the prop might need the most of the time available to be done. Why?

Well because of my son of course. I rather do not give up on spending time with him while

crafting myself a prop. And what is this prop?

A bow. And I'm going for as realistic look as possible, which means handcarving and

wood bending. I've been reading a lot about this subject lately and been practicing with

popsicle sticks. It should come out alright, I hope. I rather want wooden one, than

plastic, since once the outfit retires the bow can be reused in other costumes 

(like in a medieval faire), and my son can use it as a toy when he grows up. Naturally 

I would be crafting also dull arrows, that cannot hurt anyone. I'm so excited about

this project.

★★★

Should I run, Should I hide...

...Should I stay by your side, cosplaying your biggest nightmare.

I saw entire night dreams about cosplaying, this has to be a bad bad deal. But the con went by, even though it wasn't the best one out there, it was still worth of visit. Though there was major case of organising problems and problems with maps. BAD BAD MAPS.

I bought Matenrou Opera's Anomie Album. Made my day.
Anime and Jrock is serious business.

MUSIC MAESTRO!

★ Emily Bindiger - Everytime You Kissed Me ★

Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows part 2

Went to see the movie yesterday, and I have to say - it was AWESOME. Even though there was some stuff, I didn't quite agree on - and some parts where really REALLY left out (a.k.a Remus and Tonks Son, as well as Bill's and Fleur's daughter), and some scenes just didn't hit. Put in overall, it was awesome and worth of seeing.

This weekend, it's Animecon time! Haven't been in cons for a while (due being busy and being pregnant last year.) and I've been thinking of DIY lolita costume for this year, possibly.

I have two dresses I could use - one would be from Rakuen's own line and one would be done by combining objects together (and yes, Kiku - I've been thinking of using the ANIMAL. Animal is nickname for my long - quite cheesy-ish blonde wig.)

I have grown to love (once again) Ice cream latte's. Particularly with vanilla and mint chocolate flavours.

I'll be adding to my recipe blog soon, how I do them.

Here is some music
★ Tomoyo Mitani - Liar's Smile ★